1. Intro

This is a story I wrote about a night that happened awhile back. I was going to post it somewhere else, but decided not to. I was going to delete it, but figured that someone might want to read it over here to try to extract some game out of it: Halloween night. I decide to meet up with a group of female friends. I know that one of them happens to have a serious crush on me. I don’t feel the same way. To be honest, she is just too nice for me. I’ll be the first to say that good girls just don’t do it for me. I need a woman that is a cold-hearted, self-centered bitch. Those are the only types of chubby women that I am sexually attracted to.

2. Dating Dance

We start talking. I make sure that I maintain my distance from Nice Girl, as not to give her the wrong idea about me. Now one of her friends, I’d fuck the hell out of her, as she is one of the most self-centered, selfish BBW that I know. What type of girl invites a guy from out of state, and then leaves him alone at a different bar? Her. That’s who. However, I’m not the same type of guy as I was in the past, so I don’t do anything that might hurt Nice Girl’s feelings. She comes near me. I move away. She comes near me again. I move away again. It’s like she keeps trying to get a kiss out of me, and just isn’t getting the message that I’m not interested. If she becomes involved with a guy like me, she’s eventually just going to get her feelings hurt. I somehow make it to the end of the night without talking to another plus size girl in front of her.

3. Dating Conversation. Part 1.

Time to leave. I really want to play beerpong. I love nothing more than playing beerpong. RJ and I invite the group of them with us. At this point, sex isn’t on my mind. I see these girls as nothing more than friends, and I just really want to kick someone’s ass in beerpong, so I can talk trash. Oh shit, we have beer, but no cups. I tell RJ to stop at UDF. He goes inside. The four girls start talking amongst one another… Girl 1: “I really just want to go home.” Girl 2: “Me too.” The third girl wants to play beer pong, and Nice Girl likes me, so they say that they want to stay out. The four of them start arguing amongst one another. Nice Girl starts crying. I turn around and start talking to her… Me: “Are you OK?” Nice Girl: “Yeah. It’s just that they always gang up on me like this.”

4. Part 2

I talk to her some more. She stops crying. RJ gets back into the truck. Hmm, two girls want to go home, and two want to still hang out. Do we drop them off and then head to RJ’s? No. I have a better idea. I really want to play fucking beerpong, goddammit. You guys don’t understand how difficult it is to get a game of beerpong together once you’re no longer on campus. I turn to Nice Girl… Me: “Why don’t we just play at your place?” Everyone is happy. Two of the BBW girls leave everyone else be, and the third girl plays beerpong with us. The third busty girl invites over the local weed guy. I laugh. Women will fuck any guy that has the drugs that they want. I talk my usual trash. No one can beat me at beerpong when I’m drunk. I look at the time. I gotta go… Nice Girl: “No! You, uh. You can’t drive home. You’re too drunk. I have a couch that you and RJ can sleep on." I laugh. I don’t think she realizes how many times I’ve been in this situation. Anytime a girl tries to keep you from leaving, nine times out of ten, it means that she wants to fuck.

5. Part 3

I ignore her, and get ready to leave anyway… Nice Girl: “You guys are too drunk to drive! Just stay here. I have two couches.” I don’t think she is taking no for an answer. RJ lays down on one couch. I get ready to lie on the other. She jumps in front of me, grabs my hand, and pulls me into her bedroom… Nice Girl: “It’s more comfortable in here.” Hah. I play dumb. I guess she has no clue that I’ve been in this situation all too many times. BBW have become incredibly predictable. We commence with the usual bullshit talk. She knows what’s about to happen, and I know what’s about to happen… Nice Girl: “I love Jordans!” And she shows me her Jordans. Umm, OK? None of this BS matters. She is just talking, hoping that I make something happen. I get in her bed with her. We start kissing and talking. I eventually go to touch her… Nice Girl: “What are you doing?”

6. Final Part

Seriously? Fucking seriously? Why do girls even go through with this knowing that they want to fuck me? I do the usual, and give her my “Life Is Short” speech. We keep talking for about an hour, and sure enough, the speech I gave her begins to take effect… Nice Girl: “I wanna have sex with you, but I don’t know. I just don’t want to be one of those busty girls.” Me: “What chubby girls?” Nice Girl: “The plus size girls that guys have sex with and then never call again.” Me: “Look, I’ll be straight-up with you. If you still wanna hang out, we can hang out. I’m not going to ignore you just because we had sex.” We talk some more. Out of nowhere she says… Nice Girl: “We can do whatever you wanna do.” I get the message. Grab a condom… Nice Girl: “You have to promise me that I won’t just be one of those girls. Promise me.” And in true Team America fashion… Me: “Iiiii promise.” And then I hung out with her for one more day. That’s it. What? I’m an asshole, and she’s too much of a nice chubby girl for me.